Soul Love Equals Self-Love & ForgivenessDec 14, 2020
Guess What - You’re Not the Only One with a Loud Inner Critic
As we’ve seen in this series, your inner critic can have a tremendous effect on all aspects of your life. It holds you back from taking risks and putting yourself out there. You use negative self-talk to keep you safe, but in the end, it usually harms you. As they say, you’ll never know if you don’t try. But that mean voice often keeps you from doing just that. Because your inner critic is so powerful, it’s easy to think you’re the only one struggling. Logic will tell you that’s not true. You’re not the only one with a loud inner naysayer. Most people have this same issue. Keep reading to find out why you don’t know about it.
Everyone Has One
It’s true. Everyone must deal with an inner naysayer sometimes. Each person’s critic is different. Some folks have more of a handle on theirs than others may. Chances are, even the most confident person you know deals with an inner critic once in a while. There’s definitely a line between being confident and being a narcissist. If someone has an overinflated ego, that could be a problem. It’s healthy to question yourself sometimes as long as you are able to balance that with reality. It’s important to not be paralyzed by your own negative self-talk.
Why We Don’t Know
As we saw in yesterday’s post, vulnerability is hard. It’s difficult to admit when we’re struggling. People are afraid to tell others how hard they are on themselves or how fearful they might be. No one wants to talk about such weaknesses. It’s been built into our society to praise independence and self-reliance. This is one of the biggest reasons we aren’t aware just how much the people around us are dealing with their own inner struggles.
It might help you to talk to people you’re close to and trust. Be vulnerable and tell them you’re struggling with your inner naysayer. Ask them to give their opinion on whether what your inner critic is telling you is true. Chances are, they’ll have a much more realistic picture of you and your abilities. This can be a confidence booster. It can help to create a stronger bond with your friend or family member. It can also open the door to asking the other person about their own inner naysayer. Once you’ve been vulnerable about yours, it won’t be so difficult for them to share their own struggle. Give this approach a try, and you’ll probably learn you’re not the only one in your circle who deals with this pesky problem.
Your inner critic can be harsh. You’re not the only one dealing with this self-criticism. It can truly help to know that.
In this series, we’ve been focusing on self-love and its importance. You now understand the ways in which loving yourself can dramatically improve your life. You’ve discovered ways to silence your inner naysayer and to embrace self-love. In today’s post, I want to focus on one of the most important components of self-love, and that’s forgiving yourself. It’s true. Self-love starts with self-forgiveness. Forgiving yourself is a process that requires a great deal of introspection.
Fortunately, you’ve already done a great deal of the work throughout this challenge. You’ve worked to learn to recognize and manage your inner critic. You’ve focused on self-awareness and confidence. You understand that having a sense of purpose is important to cultivating love for yourself. These lessons and so many more have helped to prepare you for the challenge of learning self-forgiveness. Read on to discover what it truly means to forgive yourself, why it matters, and how to make it happen.
Forgiveness is a concept that is difficult. Letting go of anger, hurt, and resentment caused by others can take years. It’s often even harder to forgive yourself, but it’s also necessary. Self-forgiveness involves recognizing past actions that may have been harmful and accepting responsibility for them. It also requires moving on and getting past the negative emotions that can come with regret. Letting go is a requirement of self-forgiveness.
Why It’s Important
Self-forgiveness and moving on is a requirement for healing. You can’t begin to feel better and to live in healthy ways if you’re stuck in negative emotions surrounding past events. You deserve forgiveness as much as anyone else – in fact, even more so. You know your true nature and your motivations. You understand the reasons for your errors, and you understand how hard you’re working to improve yourself. Forgiving yourself lets you know you’re worthy of great things. It’s freeing. You can go on to do better and to be better once you’ve truly forgiven yourself for your past. You need to forgive yourself before you can love yourself.
How to Forgive Yourself
You can begin to forgive yourself by showing yourself the same compassion you would show others. Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean that what you did was okay. It simply requires you to understand that you’re a different person now, that you’ve learned, and that you’re ready to do better. Allow yourself the compassion and the grace to do that. Also, go easy on yourself. Understand that self-forgiveness won’t happen overnight. It’s a process that takes time. Recognize the work that you’re doing to improve. This can go a long way toward helping you to forgive.
Self-forgiveness is a major part of loving yourself. Hopefully, you now understand just what that means, why it matters, and how to work toward making it happen. Once you begin to forgive yourself, you’ll find that love comes more easily.
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