How People-Pleasing Is Keeping You Broke In Business & How To Overcome It

people pleasing/ no boundaries
How People-Pleasing Is Keeping You Broke In Business & How To Overcome It

When you're a people-pleaser, the entire world can feel uncertain. The only control the people-pleaser can place on their surroundings is through avoiding conflict and making sure everything around them moves smoothly for everyone else. This wouldn't be a bad thing if the people pleaser ever included themselves in the equation.


The problem? The world is only too ready to encourage the people pleaser. They praise them and call them' team players.' People pleasers are held up as shining examples of selflessness to others. Sadly, it doesn't take long for certain types of people to learn just how easily they can exploit the people-pleaser.  




Because your own needs are rarely met, it becomes tough to get ahead. How can you possibly ever get your work done when you're doing everyone else's work first? This takes your time and energy. Your dreams and goals will always take a backseat to everyone else's, and in the worst-case scenario, will never be realized at all. 


But that's not all. People-pleasers very easily forget who they are. Your actions and your thoughts tend to reflect those of the people around you. You become a chameleon to blend in, terrified of standing out. Remember, the people-pleaser wants to be accepted at any cost. This doesn't leave a lot of room for individuality. 


One thing people pleasures never become is the successful leader that they dreamed of becoming before becoming burned out. To put it bluntly, if you want to avoid burnout, it’s time to stop being a people pleaser. There is no reward for being a people pleaser, but remember, it doesn’t mean you have to let go of your humanity; you just have to learn to recognize when it’s too much.



People-pleasing typically evolves as a survival mechanism. People who continuously try to soothe conflict are generally people who've lived with a lot of conflict at some point. As a result, the only way to get over being a people-pleaser is through a combination of internal shifts & external training. 




1. Be Yourself without Apology

Accept yourself for who you are. You don't need someone else's opinion or validation. You only need your own. Find the things you like best about yourself. Embrace those things.


2. Quit Being the Superhero


Here's where you learn the fine art of saying "no." You can't do everything for everyone. Remind yourself it's not your job to save the world. 


3. Ignore 

It's going to take time for those around you to respect your boundaries. To succeed, you're going to have to let go of worrying about other people's opinions—a lot.


4. Decide Your Own Needs

It's high time you made yourself a priority. You're going to have to learn how to please yourself. What do you need right now? How can you go about getting this? 


This process is going to take time. After all, you didn't become a people-pleaser overnight. 


Some of what you're going to have to work through will take considerable effort on your part. 


The payoff makes it worth it. 


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I use a 3-part RESET Method to help my clients overcome their need to please others.


1. Emotional Reset 


This will clear any fear, guilt, and resentment.


2. Belief Reset 


This will clear the top 8 beliefs that cause you to people please:


  • People will think I’m selfish
  • People will be angry or hurt
  • I don’t want to let someone down
  • I’m comfortable being over-scheduled
  • I don’t want to miss out on something
  • I feel important and valued
  • I feel guilty about turning down the offer
  • My self-value is related to helping and pleasing others


3. Boundaries Reset 


Through this reset your subconscious & unconscious will prompt you to easily say NO when: 


  • When you are tired or overwhelmed
  • When you are ill
  • When you simply don’t want to
  • When the offer sounds boring or not in your wheelhouse 
  • When you have another way you’d rather spend that time 
  • When you’ve allocated that time to self-care
  • It’s going to be stressful
  • You’ll need to dedicate more time than is comfortable 
  • You already have a comfortable balance of obligations 
  • It’s not a part of your values (you don’t care about it)
  • It will take time away from something important to you
  • It’s not your responsibility

If you currently struggle with setting boundaries that’s possibly the reason why you haven’t been able to hit your business revenue goals.





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